Hurting others

I have hurt a number of people in my life. I thought when I grew up.

I hurt my family, my mother, brother, and father.

I hurt my best friends.

I hurt the people I like.

I used to hit my brother, yell at family and friends. I threw a candle at my best friend. I revealed a painful secret to another. And I left one stranded in a foreign land.

I was in two car accidents, in one I damaged a car, the other I hurt a motorcyclist.

When I was young I made my popo bleed once.

Thankfully I have never caused any heavy injuries or killed anyone. But I am still scared. Too afraid to love properly lest I hurt them. I am a person of calamity and destruction, yet hopes for peace and calm.

I wanted to be gentle and meek, so I strived, yet I always seem to be hurting somebody.

My capacity to hurt seems to always override my capacity to love and care.

I am trying my best, but second chances never come easy. But I will not do this again. I am still, however, a coward. Let no vow and promises come out of my mouth, lest I retract or fail to keep them. But please know that I will try my hardest.